This may come as a shock, but anxiety can be a gift in some ways. Along with the struggles comes a need for distraction to ease your mind of all of your worries. I was lucky enough to find not only a distraction, but something I would eventually become deeply passionate about also: dance.

 I started dancing as a way just to stay active, but the more I learned about it, the more I fell in love with it. Before I knew it, I had gone from dancing recreationally two hours per week, to dancing 12+ hours per week. The commitment was and still tends to be a challenge for anyone, let alone a high schooler with General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) which makes maintaining a love for dance especially challenging at times.

I eventually began to lose interest in dance as my anxiety worsened. Dance became another source of stress when previously it was a distraction from stress. All of my coaches really encouraged me to push through this rut I had found myself in, but one of my coaches even more so. She taught me to search for meaning in every piece I was casted in, which completely changed my viewpoint on what dance was. Before I had just thought of dance as a sport but in reality, it is just an incredibly athletic form of art.

With this newfound appreciation for the artistic aspect of dance, I decided to incorporate my interest in writing with my dancing by using my original spoken word about my journey with anxiety as part of my solo. After many months of doubting, recording, and editing my spoken word, my coach finally convinced me to perform with it.

Below is an excerpt from my spoken word.

Monsters:

Strange, horrible, imaginary creatures.

The monsters under our beds may be imaginary; but those who claim their territory in our minds are as real and as horrifying as it gets.

These monsters tell you you’re not pretty enough;

These monsters tell you you’re not smart enough;

These monsters tell you you’re not worthy of friendship; or love; or happiness.

Now you may ask yourself: If these monsters are so difficult to live with, how do you do it?

Well, the truth is not everyone can.

We all have some form of support system when it comes to dealing with the monsters.

A great friend, family member, teacher; anyone.

Others are lucky enough to discover their true passions in life.

She discovered this passion;

And that was when she came back.