Ernest Millard, social studies teacher, Dawn Pfaff, science teacher and Dan Benson, physical education teacher, share their funniest experiences in the classroom throughout their combined 91 years of teaching.

Millard said the oddest excuse he’s heard for incomplete work was “My dog took my homework. It blew out of his mouth, and then a bus ran over it.”

In his 34 years of teaching, the oddest excuse that Benson recalls is a note he received from a student:

“Dear Mr Benson,
I cannot prepare for PE. I cannot participate in PE. I couldn’t do any of my work because of my
sunburn.”

Pfaff recollects a student using the missing homework excuse, “Another student peed on it.”

Millard said likely his most well-known memory, “I cut two fingertips off 20 ago from my snowblower. I came back to teach, and two kids in two different hours were looking at my hand, which was totally bandaged up. They both fainted and fell flat on the floor.”

Benson recalls, “We combined classes, and we taught sophomore dance. It included ballroom dance,
disco dance, square dance and all kinds of dance. He chuckled, “If I had a video you
would die laughing.”

Lastly, Pfaff, remembers, “A girl getting soil samples in three-inch yellow pumps, a boy falling into the river during water testing and the kids locking me in the chemical hood.”

Millard shares the oddest thing he’s ever done to a student, saying, “I’m famous for growling at kids. It works on my Border Collie, so I figured it might work on my students.”

Benson said his famous release call used on students. “The release call was primarily water sports…water sports was in an environment where you can get away with just about anything for a little bit, and if I was refereeing properly,
and I could catch what was going on, the whistle was booming, and the release call was
made.”

Pfaff said the oddest things she’s had to say to students were, “Stop writing on each other,” and “Don’t make penises out of Playdoh or Legos.”