Deep within the dark recesses of Homestead’s 700 wing lies the domain of the Musical Trifecta of Mr. Todd Spindler of the Band Clan, Ms. Rebecca Winnie of the Choir Consulate and Mr. John Emanuelson of the Orchestra Empire. But behind the façade of professional productions, these lands are ruled by the some of Homestead’s quirkiest teachers.

One of the more publicized kingdoms of quirk is the Homestead Choir, under the direction of Ms. Winnie. According to Katlynn Dietzen, junior, Ms. Winnie rules with a metaphorical iron fist. “She’s so small, but she’s so scary,” Dietzen said.

As choir is the place for the most vocal people at Homestead, it’s no surprise that Ms. Winnie struggles to control her vivacious pupils.

“One time when some kids were messing around with each other, she yells,’You can touch each other after class.’ Everyone almost died laughing,” Skylar Chrobak, junior, said.

Ms. Winnie also happens to be a bit of a color authority on the annual choir retreat, where she reminds her students, “There may be pink, there may be blue, but there shalt not be purple, navy or magenta,” ensuring strict gender division in her ranks.

Despite this, Ms. Winnie connects with her students like family. “She teaches us not only to be better singers but better people as well,” Dietzen added.

Though lesser-known for oddities, Homestead Orchestra Director Mr. Emanuelson has no shortage of stories during his reign.

Ryan Baranko, junior, summarizes the inside orchestra experience: “We usually start class by pestering Mr. E about his infamous intruder story or begging to watch a movie,” Baranko said. “But he convinces us to play every day.”

“There was one time sophomore year that a lot of us were pushing for a suggestion box of music we’d want to play,” Drew Hopkins, junior, said. “Mr. E says, ‘That’s a great idea!’ and walks over to the corner of the room. He comes back, drops a garbage can at our feet, and, with the biggest smile he could muster, says, ‘Here’s your suggestion box!’”

Mr. Emanuelson confirmed these stories with a chuckle, claiming his favorite memory was of Ellen Soyka, Class of ’14 viola player. “She was prepping for a solo in a concert, and I was supposed to get her the music,” he said. “She kept asking me for it, but I was too busy to deal with it then. It wasn’t until two days before the concert that she comes to me frantically demanding her music! I felt so bad for forgetting about her, but she performed wonderfully.”

Mr. Emanuelson also commented that his greatest fear is his orchestra classes rising up in rebellion against him. To counteract this, he literally picks up the couches in the orchestra room and dumps off anyone too lazy to get up and play.

But, as every band student knows, no catalogue of quirks would be complete without the Adventures of Mr. Spindler, the Director of the Homestead Band. Pick any band student at random, and he or she will have a novel’s worth of Spindler quotes, stories and other memorabilia.

Kelly McCrimmon, senior, recalls her favorite encounter with Spindler.

“It was right after the Benefit Concert,” she said, “and it happened to be my birthday. When Spin found out, he was overjoyed and gave me 30+ balloons leftover from the concert.

“He calls over my boyfriend and tells him, ‘Since you’re so cheap, you can go present these to you girlfriend.’ Everyone cheered as I was sucked into the static vortex of balloons.”

Hardly a day goes by without Mr. Spindler making a witty comment or snarky retort to one of his students. “He has an entire Facebook page just for his quotes,” Conrad Kreunen, senior, said, “and that’s just a little taste of the real Spindler.”

“He also has this special way of clearing his throat,” Kreunen added. “It’s like his own personalized punchline of a joke.”