Many people know my situation regarding my concussions, but no one really understands the toll they have had on my confidence and on my life. Concussions stripped me of the one sport that taught me everything from discipline to self control to determination: gymnastics. Last night I got the opportunity to have closure with losing the sport that I love.

Since it was senior night for the gymnastics team, the coaches and the athletic trainer gave me the chance to do one last floor routine to properly say goodbye to the sport that made me who I am today. Not only was the day filled with happiness, but I was nervous throughout the whole day. Never before was I this nervous for a meet, but this meet had so much more behind it. I was terrified to do poorly, even though everyone would have understood if I did since I haven’t practiced since August, but I still did not want to do bad.

The emotions that were in the gym last night could not be matched anywhere else. Senior night brought tears to the eyes of every gymnast because it was a chance for the underclassman to say goodbye to the seniors that they have looked up to since they were freshman. After the speeches were done and the tears were wiped away, the meet began.

I was set to perform in the second rotation of the meet, so I had some time to collect myself and mentally prepare for the moment ahead. I was nervous to the point of shaking up until the judge saluted me and I stepped out onto the floor to give my last floor routine ever.

Last year when I competed my last time before the season ended, I did not know what the future was going to bring me. I did not know that I would not be able to compete in my senior season. So this time, I appreciated every second of the routine. I wanted to stay out on that floor forever and never let it end.

In these past months, I would cry simply at the thought of not competing or practicing with the team I love so much, but now that I have had the opportunity to properly say goodbye I feel that I can move past the official “mourning” of the loss that I sustained. Of course I will always be sad that I am no longer a competitive gymnast, but now I can look back and have my last memory competing be a positive and meaningful one.

Gymnastics will always be a huge part of my life, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to do it one last time. My life has been positively changed by the sport, and I can’t wait to continue being involved in the gymnastics world in whatever way I can.

Sports have a way of making a person more confident. Anytime I would compete, I was proud of myself, so having that stripped away is something that has taken me time to overcome. Saying goodbye to a sport I did my whole life was not easy, but it was bound to happen. No one can play sports forever. Your body will eventually tell you when it’s time to quit. You may be 12, 17 or 25, but when it happens, it will hurt like no other injury ever did.