“It almost starts to feel like if you don’t go to a good school, you’re nothing.”

“The expectations are beyond what is capable while maintaining a life and/or sanity.”

“I can’t help but feel this societal pressure to attend the best college, with the best programs and the best reputation.”

“I feel as though if you are not attending a four year college or a university that does not cost more than 30k a year this community we live in looks down on you.”

These insights anonymous sources provided in a recent survey of Homestead seniors shed light on an alarming problem in our community: the excess pressure we put on our students, our children, our peers and ourselves to achieve academic greatness and improve our reputations as scholars by setting our sights on the most prestigious colleges in the nation.

High school should be about learning life lessons, having fun, making memories and most of all, getting to be a kid before we move out into the “real world” of college and eventually the actual real world. I appreciate the intent of all the support Homestead has provided to try to make the college process easier, but there is a point where welcomed support turns into unwanted and unsolicited pressure.

While Homestead and the Mequon-Thiensville community can boast about their students excelling in the classroom, on sports teams and in extracurriculars, this is the same community that, subliminally or not, pressures its kids to aim towards higher education of the highest prestige. Attending a two-year college, trade school or even a smaller state school is no longer given the respect and congratulations it deserves. We as a high-achieving community seem to forget that going to school used to be a privilege, not a right or even an obligation, and moving on to any college or university was heralded as an extraordinary accomplishment.

In today’s Homestead, everything focuses on preparing for college. Our reputation as a great college prep institution allows for rigorous course loads for students to get a feel for what college will be like.

But what about the students who feel that college is not the best next step for them?

What about the students who decide that a four-year university, the next step for a majority of graduating classes at Homestead, is not right for them? Where is the Flex Time workshop for students who want to pursue trade school? Or the program that focuses on equipping students with skills to succeed in the workforce upon graduating, instead of higher education?

One anonymous student said, “I think that college is important and should be encouraged. Homestead does a great job of getting kids ready for higher education, which I think is a great thing. However, those who do not want to move on to college don’t have a path to take. Homestead forgets about the kids that don’t look to college as the next step.”

For many, college is just not the best option to fit their needs, but those students may feel neglected as the rest of their class engages in college readiness processes.

The Mequon-Thiensville community prides itself on its reputation of excellence at Homestead, recognized in Wisconsin for academic prowess and as a result sending these kids to well-known colleges after donning the maroon cap and gown in June.

But this reputation and the pressure to uphold it is hurting us.

Gallery • 5 Photos

Hanging from several blank walls, college banners color the halls with school spirit. But do they also contribute to the pressure put on students to go to college? Photo by Erin Connolly

Seniors especially feel the weight of college bearing down on us every day. Since schools began accepting applications in September, the questions about college are constant. And while we grow exhausted after only four months of “Where have you applied? What are your top choices? What will your major be?” from teachers, parents and others, the topic invades our daily lives and conversations among peers, further contributing to a feeling of judgement.

Lexi Emond, senior, said, “I cannot stand the Homestead attitude that everything we do in high school is just to prepare us for college. Education is important but not enough to prevent us from being content with the lives we live. We are not machines preparing for the next battle; where we go to college does not determine our worth.”

No longer is school about learning to balance academics, extracurriculars, and social time like the young adults that we still are. Our minds, our schoolwork, even our activities are geared towards receiving that acceptance letter from the college of our dreams. And behind it all, the pressure to make Homestead proud and able to add another prestigious name in its list of where alumni study weighs down upon our shoulders.

In the survey of 100 Homestead seniors, 56 indicated the first or second most important aspect of choosing a school is an overall feeling of comfort or “fit” at the school; the second most popular option was available majors with 42 votes. The third most popular answer was reputation of academic prestige, or whether or not it is considered a “good” school. (Responses add up to more than 100 because students were instructed to choose one to two answers).

One anonymous student said, “I feel that Homestead puts an unnecessary amount of value of the ‘status’ of colleges, which students then take and use in their decision process. Rather than attending the college they feel most comfortable at or like the most, they often want to attend the most prestigious one simply because of its name. Students and parents here in Mequon and at Homestead should focus more on the college experience and making it what they want instead of the name creating a reputation for the student.”

“Moving from a different school and coming to Homestead was like a whole new experience for me. I went from a school that did not have high academic success to a school that is one of the best schools in the state,” another anonymous student responded.

“For me, going to Homestead puts pressure on me with the idea of college because when you go to such an academically successful school they want you to follow through with that success in college. So, the whole issue with myself is, is the college I want to go to good enough for them?”

Where does the pressure that forms this dangerous idea take root? According to the survey, 48 percent cited parents as either the first or second main source of pressure related to college planning, while 45 percent indicated society and 36 percent said their peers were a top source of pressure. The seniors were asked to reselect responses indicating the most important aspects of choosing a school, but this time thinking of what their parents would say if they were asked the question.

Sixty out of a hundred indicated its reputation as a prestigious school would be either the first or second important aspect to their parents. The number of responses indicating comfortability or fit dropped from 56 percent to 34 percent, a frightening insight when we realize that means only one-third of students think their comfort at a school is most important to their parents.

One anonymous student shared, “I feel like college choices these days are much more based on where our friends, peers and others want us to go, rather than ourselves. It is unfortunate that many feel judged based on where they decide to go for college, when really they should be proud to announce the decision that they believe is best for themselves.”

Another student agreed, stating, “So many people in the community talk about who is going where and who got in where and whose kid is better than the others’ that most seniors reach a breaking point, even if it is for a few seconds.” From the survey, a common attitude of the graduating class is that the pressure of college planning is exhausting in itself, and the constant questioning, worrying about deadlines, and comparing each other in the school and community is enough to make kids buckle under the stress.

There are students, though, who feel as though the process at Homestead has helped them become as prepared as possible. “The pressure is immense and has been extremely frustrating, but it is appropriate,” a student said in the survey. “These institutions will be where we set the table for what we do with our lives; it’s a pretty big deal to be accepted and decide on a solid option.”

Many students feel the name of a school is often the most important factor in the decision-making process, while other aspects like cost, location, available majors, and opportunities for work after college are overlooked. According to another anonymous student, “The staff pushes college too much; they create a panic and focus on things that aren’t important when it comes to college. They tend to promote more prestigious schools and talk down about perfectly good state schools like UW-Milwaukee or Oshkosh.”

When it comes to college, what should be most important to seniors is whether or not they can see themselves as a part of the school for the next phase of their lives. We should look past the names of the schools we want to attend to make sure it is the best fit for us as people. For some, the next phase might not even include college, which should be considered a perfectly normal decision that proves to be the best option for these students.

For others, if the best fit happens to be a highly acclaimed university that fosters future presidents, astronauts and philosophers, then go forth and embrace it. Make us proud.

Let us welcome the infinite opportunities the world has to offer, whether they are the finish line of a path through a four-year university, community college, trade school or high school diploma.