The Highlander Online

Filed under Humor, Opinion

Why the #flatearth movement is totally legit

"Penelope," done in acrylic paint, was completed by Painting 3 student Caitlin Geurts. In the painting program, students are encouraged to make pieces that mean something to them and are relevant to world issues. "I made this piece about the Earth and about how truly special it is," Geurts said.

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The most recent movement to sweep the internet is the flat earth movement. This is based on the firm belief that the earth is actually flat and that we have been lied to about it being round. Take it from Dr. Shaquille O’Neal himself (a major spokesperson for this movement).

“It’s true. The Earth is flat. So, listen, I drive from coast to coast, and this s*** is flat to me. I’m just saying. I drive from Florida to California all the time, and it’s flat to me. I do not go up and down at a 360-degree angle, and all that stuff about gravity, have you looked outside Atlanta lately and seen all these buildings? You mean to tell me that China is under us? China is under us? It’s not. The world is flat.”

Dr. O’Neil is really onto something here. Think about it! How did you come to know about the Earth being round? Someone most likely told you, but who’s to say we can really trust them. Have you ever actually seen the curved edge of the globe? The answer is no, you haven’t, because the Earth is actually flat.

O’Neil’s thinking makes even more sense with an example, take this one for instance, “Listen, there are three ways to manipulate the mind — what you read, what you see and what you hear. In school, first thing they teach us is, ‘Oh, Columbus discovered America,’ but when he got there, there were some fair-skinned people with the long hair smoking on the peace pipes. So, what does that tell you? Columbus didn’t discover America. The Earth is flat.”

Dr. Shaquille O’Neal may have just changed history forever.

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Caitlin Geurts, Reporter

Caitlin Geurts is a senior and this is her fourth year on staff. She is beyond thrilled to be diving into many different aspects of journalism this year. You...

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Why the #flatearth movement is totally legit